Listening to Cold Shoulders

"Cold Shoulders" Acrylic on repurposed materials 24x36 NFS

Well, so far, I've been spared from being taken away by the authorities for claiming to have  Conversations with Paper Towels! I think I'm safe as long as I keep it a one way kinda' relationship: they talk to me but I don't talk to them; I just paint them. 

Since begining this series, "Towel Talks, I have had a real shift take place. Not only have I transitioned from wanting to impose my thoughts onto my canvases, I've found myself wanting to take time to listen to others more and talk less. Listening is such a powerful way to communicate human kindness. I love this saying:

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” 
― Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

Recently while leading a marriage seminar with my hubby, I was reminded of this interesting, yet aphauling fact:

The average person listens for only 17 seconds before interrupting. 
"The 5 Love Languages", Dr. Gary Chapman

Wow! That's really something!

I'm treating these paintings as 'mediations'. Each time I spread the glue soaked, paint-soiled, paper towels onto my canvas, I practice the art of  slowing down and 'listening'.
As I do so, each one 'speaks' to me a story that seems to yearn to be told. I try to listen.

Paint-stained paper towels before being soaked in glue and stretched onto canvases.

                                                                   
My most recent, "Cold Shoulders' came as a surprise reminder to deeply care about others and how they might feel in my presence. I think everyone knows what it's like to be on the receiving end of a 'cold shoulder!" I don't want to be the giver of such a message.

While painting it, having seen the hints of it's story in the soiled paper towels, my heart ached for so many adolescents who daily feel alienated in their schools by their peers.....
I also remembered my own painful days of awkward longings in the dark valley called "Middle School."

What do you think about when you see this piece? I'd love to hear your thoughts?




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Conversations with Paper Towels

  Have you missed me? I've been 'away' on a playful adventure, of late. It's one that has led me to whole new horizons whithout even leaving home! I 've brought along photos to show you some of the landmarks!

  The 'adventure' was this: exploring possibilites in paper towels. OK. I can hear you thinking, "Wow,"she's really lost her marbles this time!" But wait, hear me out..... 

  About a year ago, I began 'recycling' the paper towels I used to clean my brushes by immersing them in bonding adhesives and priming them onto canvas, then painting. The results gave intriguing textures and rich depths, like this one:

"Wild Poppies' 18x24 Acrylic on repurposed materials SOLD

One day, while creating one of these pieces with my 'paint rag' paper towels. I noticed the subtle lines and suggestions of form that the towels made. A thought crossed my mind: 'What if...?"

Instead of imposing what I want the image to become on the surface, why not allow the bumps, lumps and crevices to whisper their input and thoughts? Like finding dinosaurs and puppy dogs in cloud formations, I began to 'see' images in the the paper towels' landscapes. A clear horizon of potential spread out before me.

I detemined to step back and 'listen'to what the images sugested, instead of rushing forward to paint my pre determined ideas for composition. I decided to take a different approach to my 'conversation' with the painting, offering it respect rather than control.

Ever the lover of allegory and symbolism, I was struck with the similarity between creating a painting and having a conversation. They are both interactive call and responses. I reflected on the fact that just as when I often approach a conversation with a clear intention and a predetermined agenda, it expires quickly into a certain stale quality. Conversely, conversations I enter that are allowed to be open, organic and fluid are far more interesting, adventuresome and colorful.

As I 'listened', my paintings became filled with intriguing and delightfully surprising imagery. Indeed, upon beginning each new one, I felt as though I was meeting someone for the very first time and became delighted in conversing,
finding out just who they were.

The first one I 'discovered' was a poignant image of a woman in mourning.

This is how they begin; smeared, dried, paint stained paper towels unfurl into visual story line.

"They Were All Waiting" in its initial beginging stage

'They Were All Waiting' first washes of color

"They Were All Waiting" completed

This one reminds me of my many friends whose commitment to adopting children often requires patient waiting.

This one appeared as quite a surprise! As it developed, it's imagery reminded me of those with a 'different' spirit, who are doggedly determinded to volunteer for causes they passionately believe in and refuse to take 'No" for an answer.!

This one below, won my heart at first glance. It's humble beginings grew into a 'magical' delight for the imagination.

Well, thanks for letting me share the tales from this journey! More will follow!

 For locals, these new pieces will be displayed in my monthly Open Studios at Golden Belt in downtown Durham. The next one is scheduled for April 19. I'm in studio #3-114 in Building 3 of the Golden Belt campus.When completed, this body of work will contain aproximately 25 pieces and be featured in a local solo exhibit. I'll keep you posted.

Thanks for being a part of my world.
Eleatta

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Love Saves Every Day!

This charming work is by Hyoin Min from Seoul Korea

Surprise!

I love surprises! In searching for the perfect image to top off this follow-up post on Showing the Love, I came across this charming illustration from an artist in Seoul, Korea, where my husband and I lived for almost two years. Not only do I love her style, but the text says it all. Love does save the day. In fact, it saves every day.

Beyond borders

Expanding even beyond the borders of marriage, love brings hope and joy to all of our human relationships. It's no wonder why, either, because as an ancient author who penned a famous letter wrote,

 "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud  or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

Takers
From my offer in Best Marriage Advice Ever I've had several 'takers'. When I promised, quite on a whim, to  visually 'translate' folk's relational advice, I had no idea how much fun it would be. You may see a couple of these images in The King and Queen of Hearts and Love Takes Time.

The most recent advice came from my friend, Rebecca, who blogs at rebeccaphill.blogspot.com was to

 "Never under estimate the power of the The 5 Love Languages."

To this I have to shout out a big, "Amen!"This philosophy simply states that we all have a 'primary language' that we most fluently understand as love.

1.) Words of affirmation
2.) Gifts
3.) Acts of service
4.) Physical touch
5.) Quality time

As promised, I have interpreted Rebecca's sage piece of advice.
It's all yours. If you like, it print it. Send it. Share it. Let it be a reminder to speak the languages of love.

'The Five Languages of Love.' Oil Pastel in Sketchbook

Thanks Rebecca, for your input!
Any one else want to share their best advice for making relationships last?
I've got my sketchbook open and waiting....

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Photo credit: nyoin / Foter.com 

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The King and Queen of Hearts

It's really the little things that make (or break) a great relationship. Funny how that is, right? Our actions are like tiny little pebbles. If the actions are kind and other-centered, the pebbles seem to cluster together to ground the relationship. If our actions are self centered or unforgiving, the pebbles wiggle into our shoes so that we cannot seem to walk in love for a single step! 

In Best Marriage Advice Ever, I mentioned a great little book The 5 Love Languages  which is like a linguistics course in learning to 'speak' love to your spouse : simple ways to learn to do 'little things'.

I also shared my own small but potent piece of marriage advice.  

At the end of that post I invited comments. I wanted to hear others' wise little bits! Offering a sketched interpretation of their best marriage advice, seemed to be enough incentive;I've gotten several. 

Here's Jason's great advice. 

I'd say one of the fundamental things in our marriage has been that we always trust the other has our best in mind. This thought has saved us from many emotional train wrecks. When we choose to believe the best about someone, we don't get cynical or bitter towards them, we grow closer to them despite their shortcomings.

 His blog, Command-and-promise, is deep and well thought.

I interpreted Jason's sage insight as a king and queen counseling over their kingdom with the same goals in mind and same hopes in their heart.

Stay tuned. I'll post the next visual advice 'translation' one soon!

Thanks for stopping by!

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Best Marriage Advice Ever

Best love advice 
 In my last post, Showing the Love, I eluded to ingredients that have true staying power in a relationship. Today I thought I'd share a piece of "love advice"given to my husband and me that has cemented our 30 +year  marriage. Like most great truths in life, it's really simple but it's application is  often challenging but profound. Are you ready?

Raise and Lower
"Raise your appreciation and lower your expectations." There's something about our human nature that gravitates to the baseness of self-centeredness. But when we can insert the helium of consciously LOOKING outside ourselves to see the good in our spouse, we can be lifted up over a lot of rough terrain.

Count Your Blessings
In my sketchbook/prayer journal, I often download my thoughts using pastels and paints. It's cheap therapy! Below is a sketch I did in response to the meditation of thankfulness.

What about you? Have you had any pearls of advice? I'd love to hear! If you share, I'll do a sketch about it!

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Young Artist Wall

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Stuffed Pockets

A page from my sketch/prayer journal.

 
 As a little girl, I loved to stuff and smuggle lustrous pebbles or shiny leaves in my pocket. Dumping them out onto my bed, I'd spill my wonder over their simple beauty. Collecting thoughts of thankfulness is a lot like that too. When we take a moment to gather up the specifics from our lives that are beautiful, and stuff our pockets, we can unpack them and pour appreciation over each. Suddenly, life just seems a little sweeter.

I am convinced that collecting a thankful heart can cure just about any angst and soften any pain.

"The thankful heart sweeps through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings! Henry Ward Beecher

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Don't Quit Now

"When the Wind Blows" by Eleatta@ 11x14 Mixed media on tile SOLD

        The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground.  ~Author Unknown

                                          Warning: This post is a 'reminder to self" 

                                                      Don't quit now!

It's probably not presumptuous of me to think you might need this too. Most of us, if we're honest, walk around teetering on the edge of weary strained exasperation. The sister demons of Anxieties and Fears  constantly push and press. 

What to do? The best strategy? Simply dig in your heels and sassily say, "I ain't gonna" quit! No, not now, not never"

           "Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance."

                                             ~ Samuel Johnson

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Wishes and Lessons

 Since launching Art Parties by Eleatta I have met so many fabulous folks. I consider it a privilege to be a host and guide in art making. In wearing the host hat, my goal is to make everyone feel comfortable and at ease. In donning my art facilitator hat, my goal is to create a launch pad of confidence.

Being keenly aware that guests arrive with unseen "baggage" of their previous interactions with creating art, my challenge is to gently coax the "child within" to emerge. I've never met a young child who is afraid to make a mark. Fear is a learned trait.

 Fear can be trained to submit. But it's the "inner critic" in all of us that I think is the most defiant. He is so hard to control. Over and over again, I have seen courageous, fabulous explorations on canvas that are then met with such a clamor of self doubt, that I have considered hiring a therapist to be my Art Party assistant! Just kidding.....

 No, I won't do that. I'm sure that would eat up my profits; they are paid far more than artists. But what I can do is learn from this lesson and continue to attempt a"search and destroy" missions when these little critic demons raise their ugly heads. My "take away" from all of this is to be just as vigilant with my own inner demons of self doubt as as I am with others.

 There is another observation: we are so quick to encourage others but criticize ourselves. I see this phenomena around the party table. Praise and compliments flow freely across the table and around the room. But not so freely are kind words uttered for one's own work.

I wish, sometimes, I were a fairy godmother with a magic wand that could change folks' perceptions of their own work. Alas, however, I am not. So I will  continue to do my part to cajole and convince this one lesson: we are all wonderfully unique. My wish is that we will come to celebrate such.

Here are some party pics. I think you will agree.

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Face the Fears

A page from my sketch/prayer journal.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt

      FEAR, that miserable nuisance that gnaws at your gut, mercilessly squeezes and hungrily holds us hostage.

 We humans are fear magnets. Have you noticed? Our fears create internal land mines and mazes of self doubt. We fear not looking like we have our act together. We fear being rejected. We fear being vulnerable.

 But, I've noticed fear hides a dirty little secret. It's bark is louder than it's bite. I'm a slow learner though, and this understanding has regrettably taken most of my life to learn. 

 When I feel the hot sticky breath of fear on my back, I'm a lot quicker these days, to turn and square off with them. The majority slink off and dissipate. Stubborn ones, serve as reminders to be courageous.

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear." Mark Twain

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"Painting with Purpose": San Ramon

  This past Thursday night, I hosted a Painting Party to support the Casa Materna, a birthing center, in San Ramón, Nicaragua! It is the first official "Party and Paint with Purpose" fundraiser! The event was held  in my redesigned studio in Golden Belt in Durham. It was so much fun and we were able to raise money to support the work there in San Ramon for TWO MONTHS! That's so fun!. I think we need to have a few more Art Parties like this! I chose the particular flower of the "Bird of Paradise", as our subject because it's native to this particular geographical region. It was so great to come together with "kindred souls".

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Love Day's Coming!

Sketchbook journaling

 So, I don't know if you ever think about things like this, but I do. Most of the real meanings of the "holidays" we celebrate are buried under piles of commercial clutter.

 In my (almost daily) sketchbook/prayer journaling, I was thinking about our associations with LOVE. Aside from romance, chic flicks and Disney endings, LOVE is really a pretty gutsy sort of word.

  Since celebrating our 30th anniversary this year, I've retraced the steps that have gotten us this far in our commitment to one another. It's a whole lot more than just roses and romance.

  Recently, I came across the best way I've ever heard of explaining what REAL love is all about . I made a sketch to remind myself.

 This description of love's attributes is amazing. I came across it in the The Message translation of a time tested text: 1 Corinthians 13. It goes like this:

Love never gives up. 
   Love cares more for others than for self. 
   Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. 
   Love doesn't strut, 
   Doesn't have a swelled head, 
   Doesn't force itself on others, 
   Isn't always "me first," 
   Doesn't fly off the handle, 
   Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, 
   Doesn't revel when others grovel, 
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, 
   Puts up with anything, 
   Trusts God always, 
   Always looks for the best, 
   Never looks back, 
   But keeps going to the end.

Here are some pics from the surprise 30th our children put together for us:

Faith, John, Grace and Bryan conspired together to surprise us!

Visiting friends at Carolina Beach

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I'll Always Be True

It's February!

                     Happy Birthday to all my February friends. 

                              Did you know the violet is February's official "birth flower"?  Did you know that it signifies 

modesty, faithfulness, and love? I sure didn't, until I started this series exploring the meaning and symbolism of flowers. Here's a tidbit that's even more intriguing; during the Victorian era giving a violet to someone was a message promising "I will always be true!" Regretfully, I do not have a green thumb and over the years I hate to admit this but I've managed to kill any violet that was unlucky enough to be called mine. So sad. It's color is so rich and beautiful! I've now vowed to only paint them instead of being the cause of their slow painful death. This painting is sold, however, prints are available here:

                                                                       Violet's Birthday

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